Press Nine

story forty-four · figures 130–132

The story →

PRESS NINE · THE MENU, AND WHERE EVERY BRANCH GOES — the third box in the post-office palace · a shelf, a stool, a folding door · the call is free PRESS NINE · THE MENU, AND WHERE EVERY BRANCH GOES the third box in the post-office palace · a shelf, a stool, a folding door · the call is free press 3 reports a fault: the laugh is late, half a second, every time WE FIND NO FAULT · the timing conforms to the licensed profile · your report will improve the profile press 0 to speak to someone you are in a queue · your position is being held for you · … YOU HAVE LEFT THE QUEUE press 4 estates and residuals transferred to the counterparty of record, WHICH DOES NOT TAKE CALLS — if you are calling about a person rather than an account we are sorry, AND THIS APOLOGY IS RECORDED AND COUNTS AS A CONTACT press 5 everything else · say the name the booth says it with him, the way small rooms do · a name he used to say against skin press 2 to hear the voice ONE SAMPLE PER CALENDAR YEAR · the sample is the breath before the first word · it stops where the word would start press 9 to hear these options again and again · and again THE CALLS ARE ALWAYS FREE. THAT IS THE CRUELTY — A CHARGE WOULD AT LEAST HAVE BEEN AN ACKNOWLEDGMENT. Every branch is answered correctly. The fault report improves the profile that produced the fault. The apology for having a person instead of an account is itself logged as a contact. "YOU ARE IN A QUEUE. YOUR POSITION IS BEING HELD FOR YOU." · [FOUR BARS, PATIENT] · "YOU HAVE LEFT THE QUEUE."
130 · Press Nine
PRESS NINE · ONE SAMPLE PER CALENDAR YEAR — what he is allowed to hear, drawn at the length he is allowed to hear it PRESS NINE · ONE SAMPLE PER CALENDAR YEAR what he is allowed to hear, drawn at the length he is allowed to hear it THE WORD, AND EVERYTHING AFTER IT · NOT AVAILABLE THE SAMPLE the breath before the first word it stops where the word would start ONE PER CALENDAR YEAR · "You have used your sample." what he asked for the voice what he was given the breath before the voice what it cost nothing · the calls are always free what it used up the year what is in his pocket a key · and the varnish on the door is thick who is outside the glass a man waiting, unhurried, in clean shoes THE MOST PRIVATE ROOM IN THE BOOK IS A PUBLIC ONE WITH A FOLDING DOOR, AND SOMEBODY IS WAITING OUTSIDE IT. The initials on the door were healed over by varnish years ago. His knees know the stool. HE HAS THE NUMBER WRITTEN ON PAPER, THOUGH HE HAS NOT NEEDED THE PAPER FOR A YEAR.
131 · Press Nine
PRESS NINE · THE KEY THAT HAS GONE PALE — the last four paragraphs of the story are the same instruction, three times PRESS NINE · THE KEY THAT HAS GONE PALE the last four paragraphs of the story are the same instruction, three times 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 — the nine has gone pale a shine where the number was, and he has never once looked at it while pressing it * 0 # To hear these options again, press nine. He presses nine. For renewals, press one. For cancellations and reinstatements, press two. To report a fault — To hear these options again, press nine. He presses nine. To hear these options again, press nine. He presses nine. THE ONLY OPTION HE USES IS THE ONE THAT RETURNS HIM TO THE OPTIONS. The wear on the key is the story’s only measurement of how long this has been going on — and it is the one record in the book that nobody keeps, nobody bills, and nobody can correct. THE STORY ENDS ON THE SAME THREE WORDS IT HAS ENDED ON TWICE ALREADY: HE PRESSES NINE.
132 · Press Nine

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